Hearts ‘Cult Hero’ XI

Throughout the years there have been many football players who have become what you might refer to as ‘unlikely favourites’ in the eyes of many supporters. There are a whole host of reasons that these guys can obtain this ‘cult’ status of course, ranging from scoring particularly memorable goals or committing horrendous tackles on hated opponents(!), to simply having an appearance that one doesn’t forget in a hurry. Whatever it is, you can guarantee that they will always be remembered fondly for many, many years to come.

So who are you Hearts ‘cult’ heroes? I can actually think of quite a few, as let’s face it we have to look to things other than world class footballing skills to praise most players who don the maroon jersey for! I’ve prepared an XI who have, in my eyes at least, obtained this status over the past 25 years or so. See what you think……..

Goalkeeper Henry Smith

It simply has to be Henry. I’m struggling to think of a bigger character who’s played for Hearts than Henry Smith, and even though Gilles Rousset was a massively popular player with the Tynecastle faithful, I still think that Henry remains the most popular goalkeeper we’ve ever had.

In his prime Smith was an excellent goalkeeper who was cruelly underrated by many, probably due to the fact that most of his mistakes (all goalkeepers make them) tended to be ridiculously high profile. But it was the banter he had with the fans that made him the favourite he was, whether it be the odd quip to the Shed or taking the p**s out of the opposition when Hearts were winning. You could usually count on him to help cheer you up, even if the game you were watching was about as entertaining as last Saturday’s match was against Falkirk!

They certainly don’t make them like this guy any more, sadly……….

Right-back Walter ‘Zico’ Kidd

In all honesty, in the five or so years I watched Kidd playing right-back for Hearts I have to say I thought he was utter **** for the most part! He had no pace, wasn’t particularly great with the ball at his feet and had the sort of legs that were just begging to be nutmegged, which was not a particularly sought-after attribute for a defender! However his one redeeming feature was his ability to man-mark, where he used all the dirty tricks of the trade to help stifle opposition players of genuine ability like Davie Cooper or Peter Weir. But even then he still tended to get a roasting at times.

I always used to think that the ‘Zico’ nickname was a highly sarcastic one due to Kidd’s lack of fooballing ability, but I’m told by those who are old enough to remember that it was actually more genuine than that and in fact a nod to his ‘inspired’ play during Hearts’ First Division years. Apparently he was a dynamic ‘wing-back’-style player back then, one who could get up and down the park as swiftly as the legendary Brazilian used to plant his free-kicks into the top corner…….hmm……….

Left-back Brian Whittaker

Very similar to Kidd in the sense that he wasn’t the world’s greatest player, but that fantastic mullet and tache combo, coupled with the almost indescribably ‘stylish’ way he used to punt the ball up the park, ‘Roger’ was always a bit of a comedy character.

But Whittaker was also another player who could handle himself. He may have looked every inch the ponce in both appearance and manner, but a good few wingers of the 1980s will probably still have injuries to this day as a result of trying to skin the Hearts full-back. All the more reason to like our Brian then!

Centre-back Willie Jamieson

More than a few eyebrows were raised when Tommy McLean signed this former Hibs striker from Partick Thistle to play in the centre of the Hearts defence. However unlike many of the Gerbil’s signings, big Willie actually exceeded all expectations and proved to be a competent acquisition.

Definitely in the category of ‘no-nonsense, old-style centre-half’, Jamieson’s popularity rose tenfold with a truly astonishing last minute 30 yarder against Celtic at Tynecastle, a goal that snatched a vital point for Hearts in their fight to beat the drop back in the mid ’90s. Even Celtic’s manager that day Tommy Burns admitted that when he saw the ball falling to Jamieson he was relieved….probably with the same intensity of dread that most Jambos felt, but the ensuing strike was right out of the top drawer!

Centre-back Pasquale Bruno

This guy had ‘cult hero’ written all over him before he even kicked a ball for Hearts. Here was a club who’d been in the doldrums for quite a few years (fighting relegation, etc) and in desperate need of a
lift. Some what do they do? They sign a man from Italy’s Serie A, back then generally acknowledged as the toughest league in Europe, who came with a reputation of being the dirtiest player in the country hence his nickname of ‘The Animal’…….it really doesn’t get much better than that does it?!

Bruno went onto become a pivotal signing for Hearts and he was one of the first of many inspirational acquisitions by Jim Jefferies at the time. He immediately impressed with his reading of the game and composure on the ball, and to be honest rarely showed the fiery temper he was famed for in his homeland. However there was the odd occasion when Bruno was able to use his ‘professionalism’ to get the upper hand – you might want to ask Keith Wright about the state of his ribs after one particular Edinburgh derby for confirmation of that!

There was also a legendary rumour at the time that former Raith Rovers forward Ally Graham had said he was going to give Bruno a doing after one particular match in Kirkcaldy. A smiling Bruno’s response was said to be along the lines of ‘I no fight you…….instead I just call up my friends…..and they go ‘boom’ (in reference to a gun)!’. Graham left only partly convinced that the Italian, who would have looked at home in any of ‘The Godfather’ movies, was joking……….!

Right-midfield Thomas Flogel

Flogel is probably the most gifted footballer of this motley crew of individuals, but he was always a player who for me ultimately disappointed during his time with the club, especially given how highly the management appeared to rate him.

Still, ‘Tam’ was one of these guys who gave it everything he had and such was his versatility that he was able to demonstrate this in literally every position on the park bar goalkeeper! His trademark was the finely tuned ‘hooked’ sliding tackle, whereby he’d sneak up on an opponent and from a seemingly impossible angle, dispossess him and somehow retain possession of the ball at the same time. It truly was a thing of beauty, but it did manage to fool people into thinking that he’d had a great game when in fact he’d been largely anonymous! Bit like Palazuelos in the current Hearts side actually….

Flogel was an enormously popular bloke though, and rightly so as he was certainly a decent footballer who gave it 100% for Hearts. Seemed a nice guy too.

Left-midfield John Millar

Millar was a Joe Jordan signing in 1991 and after his first few appearances it was a case of ‘who the f**k is this guy – he’s garbage!’ for most fans. I could easily see where those opinions were coming from, as Millar didn’t really appear to have many clear qualities out there, and if he happened to make a few mistakes, it tended to make him look REALLY bad.

But gradually Millar was able to become unspectacularly consistent, and more importantly as far as the fans were concerned, he became a pretty regular goalscorer during a time when Hearts had virtually no-one else who could do this regularly in their midfield. From set-pieces in particular Millar was a big threat in the air, and in one season he scored several vital goals during a Scottish Cup run that ended frustratingly at Hampden against perennial nuisances Airdrie.

Eventually left Hearts in the deal that brought Colin Cameron to the club, but is a player who went with everyone’s best wishes and one who is fondly remembered by many.

Centre-midfield Neil Berry

Big ‘Chuck’ was always a favourite due to his robust style and years of solid service for the Jambos. Many fans still rate his tackle on Hibs Paul Wright at Easter Road, a challenge that saw our rivals’ star man injured for some time, amongst their favourites of all time. Berry didn’t mess about normally, and this time was no exception as he literally went through Wright, leaving the guy in no doubt as to who was marking him!

Not that we condone violence at all……..

Centre-midfield David McCreery

This Northern Ireland international midfielder only played for Hearts for a short spell in the early ’90s, but this was long enough to make his mark. He was another of those ‘robust’ midfield players that I tend to talk about quite a lot, but what was most notable about McCreery was his uncanny knack of getting his kit so filthy by half-time that it required changing! This was due to his fondness for the slide tackle, although at times I think it would be fair to say that he kicked the proverbial backside out of that definition! One in particular at Parkhead saw him missing everyone and practically ending up in the jungle!

Didn’t really do anything particularly special other than that, apart from sporting possibly the worst pair of those god-awful cycling shorts I’ve ever seen…….turquoise and purple…….almost as bad as a certain Hibs away strip from the ’90s…………

Striker Wayne Foster

‘Super Wayne’ completely redefined the term ‘cult hero’ after his much-heralded winning goal at Easter Road in the Scottish Cup quarter-final of 1994. That goal stretched Hearts’ unbeaten run over Hibs to 21 matches and forever wrote Fozzie into Tynecastle folklore. Had it not been for that goal I’m quite sure that Foster would still have been remembered, but I can’t quite imagine it being with the same amount of fondness as exists now – it just goes to show you how much the derby fixture means to people.

Striker Husref Musemic

Popular legend has it that this ‘big money signing from Yugoslav cracks Red Star Belgrade’ was a case of mistaken identity, and Hearts had in fact ended up with the twin brother of the aforementioned ‘star’!

Whether or not that was true will no doubt forever be a mystery, but what Hearts ended up with resembled everything you’d want from a centre-forward……….until he got the ball! He had the height, the pace and the general aura of being a decent striker, but with the ball at his feet he was the proverbial cow with a gun!

Still, all that aside he was STILL able to score a winning goal against Hibs, and don’t the Hearts fans just love the fact that even one of their worst centre-forwards from that era was able to do so! You still see people now with retro-style maroon jerseys with ‘Moose’s’ name on the back of the shirt……..