Even JJ couldn`t deliver a better pep-talk to the Hearts players than the “clown Dung” in his latest BBC Sport web blog thingy ?..
The BBC Sport SPL website has regular blogs from “journalists” Jim Spence and Chick Young – and I make a regular point of never reading them. After all, my dog knows more about Scottish football than these 2, and their patter is – well – tiresome and predicatble. However my mouse had a mind of its own tonight, and hovered tantalisingly over the link to Young`s ramblings, and when no-one was looking, I stole a quick peek.
Anyone with an allergy to ridiculous cliches and absurdly constructed figures of speech – look away now.
So much for the three horse race. Hearts at Celtic Park the other night looked as if they couldn’t win a donkey derby. Normal service in the championship parade was resumed as Celtic ripped the would-be upstarts to bits, while in Edinburgh the Parkhead club’s Glasgow cronies beat disorientated Hibs into a pulp. Hearts couldn’t have looked less like title contenders in the east end of Glasgow had they been waving a white flag from behind the couch. Frankly, they looked terrified of a Celtic Park atmosphere that was Parkhead old school, a throwback to the days when the towering stands glared down on the opposition with threatening intimidation. Neil Lennon’s men and his support were a fearsome partnership. There was some ferocity about the marriage. Hearts, meanwhile, were treated like unwanted guests at their wedding. They arrived in Glasgow’s east end swaggering: they left cowering. For me, it laid to rest any suggestion – which in truth was only an embryo of an idea in any case – that Jim Jefferies and his men can win the title. If Hearts win the league now, Dom Perignon is a leader of the Mafia. It’s a return to the same old story. The Old Firm disappearing over the horizon, the rest dots of traffic in their rear view mirrors.
Bah-de-blah-de-blah. Ok Chic, we get the message loud and clear – it`s time to celebrate a return to the good old days, isn`t it.
There`s clearly no place in Scotland for “would-be upstarts” who “arrive swaggering” and “couldn`t win a donkey derby”. They should all just ‘wave the white flag’ and get it over and done with. Chic seems quite happy that the 4- 0 hammering “laid to rest any suggestion that Hearts can win the title “.
Of course, Hearts fans won`t be fooled by this nonsense. We are fully aware of our team’s shortcomings and dependance on a few key individuals – and that no-one at Tynecastle has trumpeted any prediction of winning the League, or even coming 2nd . The column inches devoted to Hearts in the last few weeks have all been triggered by clowns like Chic in the football media goldfish bowl, who simply see their job as “talk ’em up just to knock ’em down”. A minor and mildly amusing distraction to the main story of the season – every season actually – namely, will Celtic beat Rangers to the title, or will Rangers beat Celtic ? That`s all that matters, really.
Isn`t it galling that some of our TV licence fee goes to keeping this clown in a well-paid job, churning out printed and verbal jibberish ?
John Collins once described Hearts as a “pub team” after his team of Brazilian-esque fairmeisters lost 3-2 in a Derby game at Tynecastle – and in so doing, ensured that Hearts players had sufficient motivation to win the next game at Easter Road too !!
JJ should pin a picture of Young`s smarmy grin on the dressing room wall before the next match, together with his dismissive descriptions of the Hearts – I`m sure it would have the desired effect !!