Hearts’ New Manager – It’s Vlad!

Hardly a revelation, is it? We’ve known for a couple of years that our owner was trying his hand at being a football manager. But the story that Mauricio Pinilla is to attend a ‘physical conditioning programme in Lithuania’ confirms that Vladimir is still in charge when it comes to making decisions about players, although the absence of an official Head Coach/Manager could be seen as justification for this episode.

Apparently Pinilla is staying at one of Romanov’s houses, and the intention is to get him into shape quickly in time for the new season. Some will see this as a philanthropic act by our owner, to help a guy who he believes has talent and who could earn him a profit if he performed to his (alleged) ability. However Romanov’s recent history of ‘helping’ pre-season activities is questionable. Two years ago, he treated the players to a week on his boat in the Mediterranean, which resulted in some tired performances early in the season (remember the two Champions League qualifiers?). Last year’s bizarre three-week pre-season tours also resulted in poor early performances in the SPL, although to be fair, the team maintained this level of performance for the whole season.

I have a theory about Pinilla’s mental problems – basically he is simply confused and bewildered that any football club would pay him £12,000 on the basis of having played less than 50 games in his entire career, and it is affecting his sense of reality.

Another story doing the rounds is that Gretna’s French striker Mickael Buscher is to start a trial period at Hearts.

Apparently this guy scored one goal in 19 games, but succeeded in impressing ‘Hearts scouts’ – and ‘senior management figures at Tynecastle’ have told him to improve his fitness before reporting for duty. We can only guess at who these Hearts people are, but Buscher’s scoring record suggests that he could provide stiff competition for Calum Elliot and Jamie Mole to lead the Hearts attack this season.

Deary me – three weeks to go, and still no manager. It’s not clear if Stevie Frail has left, or if he is still officially ‘caretaker manager’. Let’s hope Campbell Ogilvie is performing miracles behind the scenes to get a respected British guy in. The next three weeks really could make or break our team, in so many ways, for the coming season, and I’m sure the Vital Hearts team will be watching events closely….